I’ve had to take a step away from writing for a few days so I could process and be present with all of the things that have happened.
You are here. I don’t know exactly what changed, but you’ve told me enough for me to know that you are here. You are making a decision to try this one last time.
My heart is elated at the news, but I know that there are a lot of things that need to happen to make this work.
The changes I have made are real. They are genuine.
And I’m not going anywhere this time.
What I have done these last 6 weeks is just the start of what’s to come. I have poured my heart out to my loved ones, and they have been so receptive of it. I have rebuilt relationships with my children in a matter of weeks. I have processed a lot of the things I was doing wrong and started working on those issues.
But now the hard work begins.
There is a lot of trust that needs to be rebuilt from both of us.
There are a lot of insecurities that we have both developed over the course of our marriage, and very recently for me.
Our attachment styles have flipped and we are both trying to navigate that.
We have some big areas of pain that need to get worked through.
But I’m here this time. I’m all in. And now that you are by my side again I know we will be able to work through anything that comes our way.
Marriage counseling is going to be really good for us to learn new and better ways of communicating with one another. I have my own personal therapy sessions, but I also hope in our counseling we can work through the way I am feeling insecure, and how I need a lot of reassurance now.
It seems like we have switched roles again in some ways.
I can see our future together. And I can see us healed and building a new life for ourselves.
It’s going to be a lot of work, but I truly believe this is all worth it.
What I’ve done these last 6 weeks was not a game to manipulate you into choosing me. You made this decision on your own, after having to figure out some of your own things. But you chose me. You chose us. You chose our future. And I’m grateful to have the rest of our lives to show you that things are never going back to the way they were before.
So let’s keep communicating. Let’s over communicate. Tell each other how we are feeling. What our wants and needs are. Concerns we have. And things that could potentially be an issue in the future.
You and me, babe. We’ve got this.