It’s Not About Me

Words can carry so much emotion and meaning behind them. They lose their value when the actions do not follow. These are hard for me to write, but every part of my heart is in them.

“I’ll never be as good as I’d like to be.” And I’ll never be as good as you deserve.

I love you so very much. But it’s not about me.

I have hurt you. And when you needed me most I didn’t show up.

I don’t want to hurt you anymore. And as hard as it is going to be on me, I know that I have to let you go.

Too much of our life has been about me, and it can’t be that way any longer.

I’m never going to stop fighting for you. And I’m never going to stop loving you.

I am always going to be here for you. I hope our paths meet again someday and I can make you fall in love with this person I am going to be.

It hurts me to know that I am hurting you by being this version of myself that you have always wanted me to be. But it’s not about me anymore. It’s about correcting the things that have been brought to my attention. So I can be a better father. So I can be a better friend…

You deserve the world. You don’t believe it, but you do. And all I can give you is my heart.

This song has been playing on repeat, but it’s true. I’ll never be as good as I’d like to be. Because the best part of me has always been you.

We will all be okay in the end. You. The kids. Me.

I will never stop loving you, but I have to accept that I will have to love you from a distance.

I can’t wait to see the beautiful life you are going to build for yourself with me no longer holding you back.

It’s not about me. It’s about you, and you putting yourself first. It’s a bittersweet dream come true. My biggest dream has always been that you would see yourself the way that I see you. And now you have, but it’s not with me. And it hurts, but that’s okay. Sometimes good things come from bad situations.

Pain is inevitable. It means that it mattered. It means that there was so much love. It means that there was kindness, and care, and empathy.

I’m proud of you. And I love you. And I hope that we can meet again someday and start over. I’m not giving up, but I love you so much to know that this is what needs to happen for your happiness. And it’s not about me. Your happiness has to come first.

I am a better person for knowing you, and for the love you have given me all this time. And for that, I will be okay. Because you have always shown me that I am worth loving, and you have always shown me what true love is.

So thank you. For being you.

I will always be here for you. Always.

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