Today, my heart is heavy.
Today, my insecurities are winning.
Today, I am consumed by doubt.
Today, I am reminded that the pain I have caused before will have lasting effects.
Today, I am reminded that sometimes trying just isn’t enough.
Today, I am living in fear.
Today, I am not okay…
Dear God,
Today, I need You more than I have in awhile. Lord, I need You to be there for me as I cry out to You and seek Your guidance. Please help me with trusting the path You have set me on. I feel I am making the right decisions. I feel I am directing my love to all the right places. I feel like I am doing what You have set out for me to do. But I also have fear that I am doing too much. I have changed so drastically that I have given people reason to doubt me.
My heart hurts so much today. I am trying so hard to be the person You want me to be. My heart has been broken so much that I am so fearful of losing my loved ones. I have found peace. I have found happiness. I have found love. And I don’t want to lose it. Please take away the fear, and the pain. Please mend my heart. It hurts so much…
Please don’t let me lose it.
Please…
Amen
Kyle
Edit:
Sometimes I just need to cry, and pray, and listen. This is the song that decided to play next for me this morning:
When he told you you’re not good enough
When he told you you’re not right
When he told you you’re not strong enough
To put up a good fight
When he told you you’re not worthy
When he told you you’re not loved
When he told you you’re not beautiful
That you’ll never be enoughFear, he is a liar
He will take your breath
Stop you in your steps
Fear he is a liar
He will rob your rest
Steal your happiness
Cast your fear in the fire
‘Cause fear he is a liarWhen he told you were troubled
You’ll forever be alone
When he told you you should run away
You’ll never find a home
When he told you you were dirty
And you should be ashamed
When he told you you could be the one
That grace could never changeFear he is a liar
He will take your breath
Stop you in your steps
Fear he is a liar
He will rob your rest
Steal your happiness
Cast your fear in the fire
‘Cause fear he is a liarLet Your fire fall and cast out all my fears
Let Your fire fall Your love is all I feelLet Your fire fall and cast out all my fears
Let Your fire fall Your love is all I feelLet Your fire fall and cast out all my fears
Let Your fire fall Your love is all I feelOh, let Your fire fall and cast out all my fears
Let Your fire fall Your love is all I feelOh, fear he is a liar
He will take your breath
Stop you in your steps
Fear he is a liar
He will rob your rest
Steal your happiness
Cast your fear in the fire‘Cause fear he is a liar‘Cause fear he is a liar– Zach Williams
For All The Things I Didn't Say 